We’ve also talked about getting an Airbnb, but it’s the same thing-she wants to find the smallest, cheapest one, like a one-bedroom with a sofa pullout bed.
The fourth, “Mara,” keeps suggesting the absolute cheapest options possible, such as we should just get one hotel room with two beds and fit two of us to a bed, but the rest of us would rather have two rooms so we aren’t taking up so much time getting ready, and also we just don’t want to be that cramped, since we don’t really get to travel much, and we just want our own beds! Mara then says, well, if we are going to get two rooms, we need to find a cheap hotel-again, just no! We don’t want to spend our trip in the Econo Lodge and/or in an area that won’t be close to anything.
None of us make a ton of money, so we’re all being mindful of keeping costs down, but we still want it to be something special. (Not really) puttin’ on the ritz: Three of my friends and I will all be celebrating milestone birthdays soon, and want to plan a trip together. I think she’s being horribly unrealistic and trying to make us bow out of her life so that she doesn’t have to be the one to end the relationship.
Second, I have no idea how to have a conversation without stating an opinion or mentioning someone’s gender she’s basically asking us to bend the English language in order to be able to see our grandson. First of all, we are her family, she can’t change that. I reached out to her today to ask her if she really meant that and she said that if we want to be a part of her family, we need to keep all our opinions to ourselves and never talk about sex or gender around her son ever again. She ended the conversation by saying she needed some space from us to consider if she still wants a relationship with us! We are shocked and hurt. My husband tried to defend himself saying that he was just trying to better understand her parenting choices because they were so different from ours, and she screamed that that was deliberate and she does not want her child to grow up the way she did. My husband and I felt that what she said was completely untrue and frankly abusive. Her husband did not intervene at all, and just disappeared with the baby. She just laid into us for being unsupportive and homophobic. It came to a head this past weekend when my husband made the mistake of insinuating that she was raising our grandson to be gay and she … lost it. This has led to a variety of petty arguments between him and our daughter. My husband has lots of opinions about their choices and no filter. She and her husband are both pretty nontraditional in their parenting. Old-school mom: My husband and I have an adult daughter, who in turn has a 2-year-old son. Life is wonder and life is pain! What problems are you wrestling with this week? Eric Thomas: Hi, everyone! It’s sunny and beautiful where I am and also I’m having miserable sinus problems.
Eric Thomas is filling in as Prudie for Jenée Desmond-Harris while she’s on parental leave.) Here’s an edited transcript of this week’s chat. Dear Prudence is online weekly to chat live with readers.